一步一个脚印

Let’s try something a bit lighter today. Here’s 33 words in Chinese I’ve collected over the years that I think are pretty funny when translated literally. Some of them also reveal a little bit about Chinese culture and thinking. Enjoy!

33 Funny Words in Chinese

1. A computer is an “electric brain” (电脑).
2. A cactus is an “immortal man’s palm” (仙人掌).
3. A chameleon is a “colour-changing dragon” (变色龙).
4. A pet is a “spoilt thing” (宠物).
5. A boss is an “old board” (老板).
6. A van is a “bread car” (面包车).
7. A work of erotica is a “yellow book” (黄书).
8. A porn is a “hairy film” (毛片).
9. A breast stroke is a “frog swim” (蛙泳).
10. A woman who has a successful career but remains single is a “leftover woman” (剩女).
11. A woman who is easy to seduce is like “instant noodles” (方便面).
12. A mistress is a “little 3” (小三).
13. A hot babe is a “spicy little sister” (辣妹).
14. A dildo is a “massage stick” (按摩棒).
15. If you date someone, you “talk about love” (谈恋爱).
16. If you come on to someone, you “eat tofu” (吃豆腐).
17. If you give someone a hickey, you “plant a strawberry” (种草莓).
18. If you cheat on your partner, you “go off the rails” (出轨).
19. If your partner cheats on you, you “wear a green hat” (戴绿帽子).
20. If you stand someone up, you “release a pigeon” (放鸽子).
21. If you put on weight, you “get lucky” (发福).
22. If you get rabies, you get the “crazy dog disease” (狂犬病).
23. If you leave something to the last minute, you “grab the Buddha’s foot” (抱佛脚).
24. If you’re fired from your job, you have your “squid fried” (炒鱿鱼).
25. If you make things hard for someone by abusing your power, you make them “wear small shoes” (穿小鞋).
26. If something has nothing to do with you, you say you’re just here “to buy soy sauce” (打酱油).
27. When you do something immediately, you do it “on a horse” (马上)
28. When you encourage and cheer someone on, you urge them to “add oil” (加油).
29. You don’t wear contact lens, you wear “invisible glasses” (隐形眼镜).
30. You don’t take ecstasy tablets, you take “shaking head tablets” (摇头丸).
31. Your fourth finger is not your ring finger, but a “nameless finger” (无名指).
32. You’re not a country bumpkin, but a “dirt bun” (土包子).
33. Your way of making a living is not your bread and butter, but your “rice bowl” (饭碗).